A sorry, repulsive choir of media brayers have taken their noses out of their cocaine...

...to proclaim that the Church has lost its moral authority.  As though such creatures had ever believed it had any.  But to those of us who know what the Faith is, the only answer is Simon Peter's: Lord, to whom shall we go?  Do they imagine that we shall take the hirelings of Rupert Murdoch and his unwholesome likes any more seriously just because some of our priests proved criminal?  These creatures have always been jealous of the moral authority exerted by a bunch of powerless celibates, and they cannot imagine why their round of divorces and backstabbings should not give them at least as much respectability.  Well, boys and gals, I have news for you: the news you have been reporting since your vile trade began - Church about to collapse! - was false then and is false now.

A silly meme to lighten the air (swunked from ani_bester)

Tell me about a story I never wrote, (eg, "The one where Uncle Scrooge McDuck meets Lucy van Pelt") and I'll write you a snippet from it.

Snippets will be 100-500 words, unless they're not.

Rules:
1. One per customer
2. Your request should begin: "The one where..."
4. Keep to DCU, Marvel, BSG Voyager, Buffy, classic comi characters, or Harry Potter, since I'm no good with much of anything else.