Elton John

Those who purchase other human beings with money are called slavers and slave-owners. Those who purchase the sexual use of women with money are called prostitutes' johns, and the women who sell it to them are called prostitutes (or whores, or hos).

Those who do both things at once are called Elton John and David Whassisname.

On loving cheap little items

I am not very fond of owning things. I prefer having two of everything just in case something breaks down late on Friday evening, and I cannot have enough of books, records, CDs and DVDs. But those are a special case. In general, I tend to own few rather than many items of anything.

At present I own three pairs of shoes, but I only use one. One pair is so past it that it only really serves for house slippers; one is handsome but uncomfortable, and I only use for things like job interviews and formal events (as if!); and one does all the work. I don't suppose it will last much longer - the heels are showing signs of wear - but I love it, and I have an idea that I will keep it, for memory, even after it has gone beyond use.

I bought this blessed pair of improbably bluish fake leather footwear out of despair, on a rainy October afternoon, as another pair was literally breaking apart around my feet; and since then, it has performed miracles. In wind and storm and rain - literally - walking up and down London for all sorts of errands, in snow up to my heels, it has kept my feet warm and dry. I bought it for a minuscule sum, fully expecting to have to buy another soon, during - as you know - one of the worst autumns of my life; and it has lasted me through much of the worst winter in living memory. Everything else may have failed, but my shoes went on. I don't know whether this is pure chance, or whether it is that somewhere craftsmanship and love for one's work still run like a hidden river; but if I ever could meet the men who made my shoes - probably some penny-an-hour Chinese workmen, half-poisoned by the chemicals they use - I would love to shake their hands.