Ah, so. For me, it's things like: going through the major illnesses of loved ones. What it's like to have someone die. What it's like to be in love. What it's like to be married. What it's like to be pregnant; what it's like to be a parent. What it's like to suffer major illness; what it's like to be depressed; what it's like to work; what it's like to get older.

I had imagined all these things, of course. And I had done a fairly good job of deciding what to do about them. What imagining them did not help me with at all was understanding how they would make me feel, and how they would change me.