See my response to eliskimo below. Your mother did a fine job with you. Your mother raised a child who could go to a library and travel across space and time. (My only issue with her is that she had you on the wrong continent. But since you turned out OK, and so did my in-laws, I will leave my face in your hands. However my eyebrows are my own and they bow to no one.)
These girls are not as free as you are. The girls who organized this horror are not morons -- but don't pretend this is an adult decision. The 14 year olds looked at the life they lead and grabbed it by the horns. Now they think they have control - with these babies they can be loved and out on their own and make their own rules. To a child who never had a father's love, it makes perfect sense. She can't be accused of depriving her child of something if she does not know it exists. But we know it does. We know a 14 year old is not prepared to raise a child on her own. Even they knew it - that's why they made the pact to raise their children together. But we also know they put their lives in receivership. They will not have control - a faceless system will dictate where they live, and where the babies go to stay while mom is in school (if mom still wants to go). I'm sure they'll survive, and they'll love their children, but they cashed in their dreams too early, before they realized they had dreams for their children, too. Even if the community they plan works out, can it build a better life for their children? The community they came from didn't, and didn't give them the tools to lift up their own eyes. I'm praying that this will be a critical mass of destructive behavior which makes people stand up and take action. My community has the same issues - and we have brilliant people who helped us solve some problems. My daughter is on a waiting list for 14 year old girls who want to learn how to build and fix computers. But since she isn't "at risk" she has to wait to see if she is in the program. After this story, I'm more than happy to let some other girls take the spot I wanted for her. Because I can teach her what she wants to know, and so can her father and her grandfather. The hard part is done - she wants to know it. The girls who get in ahead of my daughter will not have the resources she does. And they'll need a boost to look out that window more than she does.
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Re: You're aging these mothers by two years
Date: 2008-06-21 09:12 pm (UTC)These girls are not as free as you are. The girls who organized this horror are not morons -- but don't pretend this is an adult decision. The 14 year olds looked at the life they lead and grabbed it by the horns. Now they think they have control - with these babies they can be loved and out on their own and make their own rules. To a child who never had a father's love, it makes perfect sense. She can't be accused of depriving her child of something if she does not know it exists. But we know it does. We know a 14 year old is not prepared to raise a child on her own. Even they knew it - that's why they made the pact to raise their children together.
But we also know they put their lives in receivership. They will not have control - a faceless system will dictate where they live, and where the babies go to stay while mom is in school (if mom still wants to go). I'm sure they'll survive, and they'll love their children, but they cashed in their dreams too early, before they realized they had dreams for their children, too. Even if the community they plan works out, can it build a better life for their children? The community they came from didn't, and didn't give them the tools to lift up their own eyes.
I'm praying that this will be a critical mass of destructive behavior which makes people stand up and take action. My community has the same issues - and we have brilliant people who helped us solve some problems. My daughter is on a waiting list for 14 year old girls who want to learn how to build and fix computers. But since she isn't "at risk" she has to wait to see if she is in the program. After this story, I'm more than happy to let some other girls take the spot I wanted for her. Because I can teach her what she wants to know, and so can her father and her grandfather. The hard part is done - she wants to know it. The girls who get in ahead of my daughter will not have the resources she does. And they'll need a boost to look out that window more than she does.