Time for some Crazy Character Meme!

1) I shall make a list of 15 characters.
2) I shall assign each character a number.
3) As many of you members of my f-list as possible - you do not know who the characters are - will write questions about what they'd like to know about them.
IE: "If 3 and 4 were trapped in a cave together with only a blanket and a toothpick, what would they do?" (The more random the better!)
4) I shall post the answers and who was who.

Answers! Me got answers!

1- the Red Skull
2- Minnie Mouse
3- Han Solo
4- Popeye the Sailor
5- Snoopy
6- Hermione Granger
7- Magneto
8- Obelix
9- Asterix
10- Linus Van Pelt
11- Falstaff
12- Sherlock Holmes
13- Arsene Lupin
14- The Batman
15- And to please myself, the Silver Angel

When - not if, when, they WILL do it - #1 and #10 have sex, how and where would they do it, and what would be the result: many fat babies, suicide, murder...?

The first answer is: you are a perve.
The second is: Linus commits suicide, and the Red Skull is left rather dissatisfied. All things considered, the female sex is more fun.

7 puts toothpaste in 8's undawears. What did 8 do to piss off 7 so much?
First, he failed to understand Magneto’s elaborate talk. Then, when Magneto got mad at him, he thumped him, without even noticing his magnetic force field. Dratted magic potion!

If 2 and 15 were stuck in an arena and had to fight and the only available weapons were a cricket bat, a small bag of bolts, a broken lager bottle, and an old copy of the OED... Which weapon would they choose? Why?
They would start playing trivia from the more abstruse defitions of the OED. Then, when guards and overseers started making trouble, the Silver Angel would thump the lot of them into next week and nail them to the wall by their armour with the bolts.

Doctor Who visits character #3. Where (and when) in time and space is he?
The trouble is that I am not really a Dr Who fan, but really, a Dr-Han Solo team-up practically writes itself, doesn’t it?

7 and 13 find themselves shipwrecked on a desert island with Gerald Augustinus and Rowan Williams. How (if at all) do they prevent the former from doing grievous bodily harm to the latter for this statement considering that the only things to have washed up on the island with them are a butterfly net and a bicycle inner tube?
Lupin uses the inner tube to tie Gerald’s wrists together, then strengthens it with the torn net twisted into a rope. Meanwhile Magneto is flying the Archbishop far, far away – while giving him quite a lecture...

Oh, I’ll take them all.

#4 & #14: one is Calvin and the other is Hobbes. Which is which and what do they get up to?

Popeye the Sailor and the Batman? I think Popeye would take the more childish role, perhaps, and the Batman would be the older, adviser type. So Popeye plays Calvin and the Batman plays Hobbes. And whatever they do, you can bet that someone else is going to end up with a black eye.

#5 has received a message from #11 to meet in a secret location and to bring "the item". What happens at the meeting?

5 is Snoopy and 11 is Sir John Falstaff. And given the combined imagination of these two, I would say that the answer is beyond delivering by mortal man. It could be anything from a butt of sack (Snoopy has been known to get stoned out of his mind on root beer) to the plans for Fort Zinderneuf.

#6 has to tell #11 that #11 has a sister/brother/child heretofore unknown. And #6 has fallen in love with him/her. How does #11 take it?

He tries to find a way to turn it to his financial advantage, but I do not think it works out so well. He is apt to end up hoist on his own petard.