A random thought

[fpb]

At one end of life, avus, who is old enough to be my father, works like a demon to help rehabilitate his wife, who has suffered a terrible accident, and is rewarded by a slow but constant improvement, till he is certain that the woman he married is back. At the other, photosynthesis, who is young enough to be my daughter, and who has a had a life in which absolutely nothing ever came easy, receives a proposal from the man she loves in the most awe-inspiring and romantic circumstances imaginable - at the altar rails on the day of the Resurrection of Our Lord. Now tell me why these two events should move me so much.

Well, there are two possible interpretations. One is that, having myself completely and permanently failed to find a companion, I tend to overestimate the importance of marriage. The other is that marriage, the union of a man and a woman, really is the central event in life, and that moments that bring out its tremendous and heroic aspects - commitment for life and ceremonial grandeur - have the emotional power of all the things that are noble and just and true.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

...and--you honor and are moved by the manifestation of Love--not the weird thing called love that they talk about in some pop songs, but real LOVE?

[guarani]

In St. Paul's words, it's a "sacramentum magnum."

Another chance to rant against marriage? Is it my birthday again?

[rfachir.livejournal.com]

Nothing against avus or photosynthesis, may they have long and happy lives, but how can you give that unnatural bottomless hole of human-made misery credit for any of their joy?
People dream up impossible responsibilities they can't possibly live up to, and then destroy each other for not winning a rigged game. When Jane goes home, he'll post about how happy she is, how everything is getting back to normal, how well she's getting along, and sure as the sun rises he'll be overwhelmed and she'll fall again and wind up in the hospital under another net (or worse). Another LJer is a maximum of five years away from divorce, after she decides her husband owes her a "fair share" of the family business and decides to walk away with it, bankrupting them both.
Marriage isn't a source of joy, it's just documentation of justifiable homicide. Find someone to love, love the whole blessed world, but don't marry it. Follow Jesus' example - He just went to the wedding to drink, not to join in with the madness.

Re: Another chance to rant against marriage? Is it my birthday again?

[fpb.livejournal.com]

You may have neglected a slight ontological difference between Jesus and us - He was God. Which, as I argued last time, places Him in a whole different position with respect to marriage.

I am sorry you still feel so unhappy about the whole idea. There is something deeply unhappy in your life that I doubt I can do anything about - at least not in a few lines online. But you ought by now to be aware that there are certain things I do believe in.

Re: Another chance to rant against marriage? Is it my birthday again?

[rfachir.livejournal.com]

It's a glass half full/half empty arguement. Drowning in it, I'm a little bitter, but I can still rant at people to stay dry. They don't listen, but I feel better after the tantrum.

About Jane

[super-pan.livejournal.com]

What you said may very well happen, because frankly old people fall apart and die, everybody dies, but it won't diminish the huge accomplishment and work of love that Avus and Jane have done together. And as for marriage,I guess it isn't right for some people, and that's ok, but marriage isn't always just a rigged game, it's just hard and you have to work at it and put up with shit sometimes, just like everything in life.

You said below ranting about it makes you feel better, and that's cool; I just felt like putting my two cents in, especially about Avus and Jane.

Re: About Jane

[rfachir.livejournal.com]

As I said, nothing against the people who get married. I have nothing against people at all, I have buckets of resentment against marriage the institution. I wish it was treated as an exception, like Holy Orders, and not a prerequisite for adult life, so that people who don't get married feel they're missing out on something. Finding someone to love is precious, and having them love back, at the same time, is nothing shy of a miracle. No arguement from me. It's the torture we put people through for the sake of the marriage contract, and the twisted things people do to each other because of the contract, that I despise with my whole heart.

[photosynthesis.livejournal.com]

When I was discerning a call to the cloistered life, I spent much time contemplating the sacrifices God may have called me to make. The idea of leaving the world permanently in order to seek a life of prayer inside the cloister frightened me a little, and I was anxious about how my family would react. God gave me an image in my mind of three crosses: one represented my life inside the cloister, another represented a life as a wife/mother and another represented the single, celibate life in the midst of the world. I tried to pick up the different crosses, but I couldn't do it on my own. I simply wasn't strong enough. But the grace of God enables us to carry the crosses He gives us, and it guides us towards the ultimate goal of union with God in heaven.

Without God, there's no way I'd be happy in marriage. Human reason and the capacity for human love only go so far. I'm certain that without the graces of the Sacrament of Marriage, Aaron & I would drive each other insane. But God is the source of love, and as long as we both abide in God, the fire of charity will never go out.

Similarly, as long as you have God as the center of your life, there is no failure, only the Will of God, which is union with Him forever.