Another triumph of the divorce generation

[fpb]

According to a recent piece of research that the BBC is heavily publicizing, one good third of British teen-agers do not consider their parents people they admire or want to imitate. Even disregarding the obvious notion of teen-age rebellion, this is rather a worrying number. However, the BBC does not draw one clear conclusion from it: if teen-agers have learned to despise or disregard their own parents, does that have nothing to do with the prevalence of divorce? Does it have nothing to do with Mother telling them all kinds of awful things about Fathers, and Father teaching them to hate Mother, and both of them instructing them to repeat the same stories in the divorce court? Stories the more damaging because they were often based on some truths - Father and Mother knew each other, after all, they knew how to defame each other in the most hurtful ways possible?

As I said elsewhere, the reasons for the prevalence of divorce are real and serious. But when you consider the damage it does, let alone the cost, is there no ground for a serious policy of reducing it?

Comments

[lyssiae.livejournal.com]

I think if I look at my parents now then I most definitely see things about them that I admire and would want to be able to imitate if I were in their situation. However, much of this is stuff that comes with being an adult child and living away from home.

But that does not mean that it's unrealistic to expect children to do the same of their parents when still children. In fact I think one of the happiest family lives could be those where the children look up to their parents, and not just to beg for money or toys either. If Mum and Dad are decent people who aren't afraid to show (in some way at least) their overflowing love for each other and their family then I think kids are going to be drawn to that, whether or not teenage hormones and angst will let them show it.

I'm firmly convinced, however, that in order for parents to be able to build that kind of atmosphere, they must have a mature (or maturing) relationship in which their love and respect for each other is so solid that even during the tough times they don't give up on each other.