"...then you can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man..."

[fpb]

...or, in this case, that of its local equivalents.

Well, that was heartbreaking.

There was a woman who had been with this LJ since the beginning, at first with enthusiasm and considerable mutual understanding, but then with more and more silence on her side. This was at the same time as she set out to earn a medical degree.

The end came when a friend of hers made a revolting statement about Catholics, stating in so many words that they should not be allowed to breed. I was charged with bigotry and lack of humour when I pointed out that she would never dare say it about blacks or Jews or Aboriginals - or, God knows, Muslims. The result was mutual defriending.

The death of Trine has put me in an "It's later than you think" mood, and among other things I found myself thinking of friends I lost and praise I gave that I have never withdrawn. I felt the need to do something to break down some estrangements. So I took the opportunity of a local tragedy to write to her to condole, and incidentally to suggest a re-friending.

I got an answer back that suggested that she saw nothing wrong with suggesting that Catholics should not be allowed to breed.

Comments

[eliskimo.livejournal.com]

That's sad.

[becomethesea.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear her response. I do commend you for your efforts, though.

[cette-vie.livejournal.com]

I entirely understand why you're so revolted by her comment. However, if we were to take such issue with every stance that someone took, we wouldn't have any friends. I'm sure you can find one extreme point of differing opinion between you and even your closest friends, but part of being friends is the effort of being friends *despite* that. And that's what makes you friends.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

If I had taken you up on everything we disagree on, your comments threads would be twice as long. (And, given the quality of your writing, I am not sure that would be a bad thing!) The thing is however that a remark as revolting as the friend's would not occur to you, and if it ever did, I believe you are civilized enough to realize that it needs an apology. I do not ask for apologies and retractions for every remark I disagree with, but to say that my likes should not be allowed to breed is not funny, it is not clever, and it is certainly not acceptable.

[cette-vie.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm glad we're on the same page here as regards how these should be treated. I'm just glad to hear that apologies are entirely in the game.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

The problem was not that the remark was made, but that both then and now my former friend cannot see what was so very wrong with it beyond what she calls a little bad taste.

[affablestranger.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's despicable.