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fpb ([personal profile] fpb) wrote2009-08-31 11:18 am

An article I agree with

I tend to read townhall.com more to know what conservatives are thinking than because I agree with anything. (To know what their opponents are thinking, I have no problem: I just have to watch TV.) Nevertheless, a couple of articles today have really impressed me, and one, in particular - by Allan Hunt - I agreed with every word of. Here is the link: http://townhall.com/columnists/AllenHunt/2009/08/31/john_edwards_outclasses_rick_pitino,_really!?page=full&comments=true - but if any of you for any reason prefer not to increase the hit count of townhall.com, I have placed the whole article behind the cut.

Just when you thought John Edwards would slink off into ignominy, he stands up, throws off his jellyfish ways, and becomes a man. Ironically, John Edwards could teach Rick Pitino a thing or two about manhood.

News reports indicate that Edwards will publicly announce soon that he is indeed the biological father of 18-month old Frances, the child borne by Rielle Hunter, his former campaign staffer. This entire saga has revealed huge, embarrassing gaps in the character of John Edwards. From first denying that he had any relationship at all with Hunter; to a key staffer's lying that he, not Edwards, was the father of Frances; to the revelation that Edwards' team financially supported Hunter for months; to Edwards' consistent denials of being the father, the former senator has missed no opportunity to play the louse.

However, with this public declaration of paternity, it appears that Edwards will now step up and do the right thing. Reports claim that he has told his wife, Elizabeth, that he will move Rielle and Frances into his own family's neighborhood so that he can play an active role in the rearing of Frances as his own child. Clearly, this news would infuriate any wife, and likely his other children as well, but Edwards is finally doing the right thing.

In the celebrity culture in which Edwards has basked, he now seems to have learned that this is not all about him. In a culture where human beings are treated like disposable diapers, to be used and then discarded at will, John Edwards is giving indications that he has learned that this really is all about Frances. Frances did not ask for all this. She was simply conceived, and then arrived in the world. She deserves to know both of her parents, regardless of the personal challenges it presents to John, Elizabeth, or Rielle. Frances is a person in her own right, and as an infant, she is entitled to the love of the people who brought her into the world.

It feels odd to say, but it is true: Good for John Edwards! His actions reveal slowly-developing moral growth in his character to discover a truly pro-life position. Life and the world do not entirely revolve around the sexual decisions of adults. Each human being has dignity and deserves certain things, including the love of her parents, albeit two imperfect, adulterous parents.

Contrast the behavior of John Edwards with that of Rick Pitino, national championship basketball coach and author of Success is a Choice. The news has been filled to capacity with the startling revelation that an intoxicated Pitino had a one-night stand (on a restaurant floor no less) in 2003 with a woman, who came back to him two weeks later to claim she was pregnant. She asked for money to have an abortion and said she had no health insurance. Pitino gave her $3000 and claims to have said it was for health insurance. The woman had an abortion. That much has been proven.

In other words, given the opportunity to choose between life and death, Pitino chose death. Given the opportunity to face the same kind of public humiliation that Edwards is now enduring, Pitino sacrificed a child, and took a pass. Edwards wrestled to come to terms with what he had done while Pitino simply chose to move on as quickly, and as discretely, as possible.

The contrast will go largely unnoticed in the whirlwind of the American news cycle, but do not miss the lesson and the revelation available here for anyone willing to pause and absorb the data. One man took the road less traveled and has spent two years coming to terms with the consequences of poor moral judgment. Another man chose the illusory quick fix.

John Edwards made a large mistake, a mistake that has cratered his public life and a good portion of the trust he and his wife have shared. Edwards denied, denied, and denied, for close to two years. He even broke the news in small increments to his own wife. It took time for the former presidential candidate to come to terms with his own flaws and their consequences. Ultimately, however, it appears that he has done just that. Over months and months of reflection, pain, and public shame, John Edwards appears to have arrived at the difficult and challenging truth: that he is an imperfect human who has made a tragic mistake, and that he is the one who should pay most of all for that mistake.

As a result, the life of Frances will be better and more stable. Edwards' own children will learn that actions have consequences, often painful ones, and that a man stands by his actions and faces the truth. In the end, a number of the parties involved in this Edwards/Hunter debacle will actually grow in character and integrity. We will all have learned that coming to terms with one's mistakes often takes time.

Sadly, no such lesson or growth will occur in the Pitino situation. Rather than reflecting on a lapse in judgment, and learning from it, Pitino acted as quickly and privately as possible to “erase” the mistake, as if that could actually occur. Frances will thrive, while Pitino's child will never receive even a name. It appears that Pitino hid from the truth, hid from himself, and hid from his own family, until the circumstances forced him to confront his own character six full years after the fact.

Worse still, because Pitino is a proven, winning coach, in a state where basketball literally trumps life itself, the news story has quickly faded from view. The ramifications of his poor moral judgment have been largely confined to the issue of whether he will keep his job. Of course, he will. Few, if any, observers are noting that, when given the opportunity to stand up and be a man, Pitino chose the road most traveled. He paid for the mistake to go away, chose to pretend that the mistake had never happened, and moved on without confronting himself and his own actions. He could learn a lot from John Edwards.

A person's moral growth occurs over time. Growth requires struggle, faith, and brutal self-discovery. In the end, pain can be your good friend, a teacher unlike any other. John Edwards now knows that. Sadly, the choice for abortion unnaturally truncates that growth process and stunts the soul's formation. Worst of all, it ends another human soul's existence before being given a chance. We can only hope that Rick Pitino will finally face that truth, and take a long look in the mirror. If he wants some help, John Edwards will likely have a lot of free time on his hands to assist in the process.

[identity profile] fellmama.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 02:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I find it disturbing that Hunt completely effaces the actions of the women in question.

[identity profile] fpb.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
They were not his subject. His subject was male human beings behaving, or not, according to a fairly obvious code of morals. If he had wanted to deal with the women in the two cases, no doubt he would have praised Mrs.Edwards and said a lot of no good about Edwards' mistress and Pitino's one night stand. But one thing any essayist must learn is to pick a subject and stick to it. In the matter of Edwards' and Pitino's reactions to their own guilt, to focus on the women would have tended to take attention away from the men, and, to that extent, to distract from their guilt. Of course, there were, in both cases, four bare legs in a bed and two moral agents; but the subject of the essay is the comparison of one male moral agent with another, which has a lot to say to us males - if more of us were willing to listen.

[identity profile] fellmama.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
But neither man had ultimate authority over the crux of the matter; that is, the decision to abort. As far as I know, it's unknown whether Edwards asked Hunter to have an abortion--or whether he begged her not to have one, for that matter. (Although I suspect the truth wouldn't support Hunt's thesis, given Edwards' earlier behavior.)

On one level, I agree with Hunt's view of Edwards; having made a series of immoral decisions, he's at last taking responsibility for the consequences of his actions. On the other hand, Pitino had no actual chance to do the "right" thing as Hunt defines it (other than of course avoiding extramarital relations altogether, but that ruins the comparison with Edwards). The only way he could have behaved as Edwards is doing is if the woman in question had chosen not to have an abortion.

So we are back to my original problem with the article--Edwards and Pitino weren't acting in a vaccuum; both reacted to the choices made by the women they impregnated, yet this is missing from Hunt's analysis.

[identity profile] fpb.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
The woman could not have had an abortion had he not paid for it. So it was his choice what his money was used for. Pitino, I mean.

[identity profile] fellmama.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Again, only insofar as she chose to use the money for that purpose. (I do wonder, actually--abortions are not inexpensive procedures, but I've never heard of one that cost $3000. And of course she couldn't have used it to purchase health insurance, as a fetus is considered a pre-existing condition and therefore grounds to deny coverage.)

I suppose what irks me here is that Hunt necessarily has to ignore the agency of the women in order to make his point because if he doesn't, the argument collapses. It's sloppy rhetoric if nothing else, and representative of the kind of thinking that leads, for example, to the terrifically stupid proposal of John Adams in Ohio.

[identity profile] fpb.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I fail to understand your problem. It sounds to me like you are demanding that there should be a quota for women in any argument, and frankly I am not even starting to go down that way.

[identity profile] fellmama.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Not as such, no. How to explain my thinking--if the argument had concerned the relative fiscal moralities of, say, Madoff versus Abramoff (ha, a real face-off . . . I crack me up), women as such are irrelevant given the genders of the participants and that there aren't any issues like human trafficking or what have you at hand.

But Hunt's entire argument is that one man is stepping up to the demands of unexpected fatherhood, while another ducked that responsibility; it is not necessarily a bad argument, but it rests entirely on ignoring that neither man had ultimate authority over whether he would become a father at all. (Again, other than by not having the affair in the first place.) This seems to me along the lines of arguing that Galileo was more heterodox than Pope Urban since the latter never made a public affirmation of this faith. (A poor example; does it help at all?)

[identity profile] fellmama.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Gah, I meant orthodox, of course. Serves me right for shuffling the order of my analogies.

[identity profile] fpb.livejournal.com 2009-08-31 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
it rests entirely on ignoring that neither man had ultimate authority over whether he would become a father at all
Nonsense. The point is simply that the men are in that position. If you made a comparison between two men in a Nazi-occupied country, one of whom joins the partisans while the other remains part of the public sector even though the sector is now run by the Nazis - would you say that such a comparison excludes the Nazis? Don't be ridiculous.

Thank You.

[identity profile] southindian.livejournal.com 2009-09-02 09:25 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for posting that. I was feeling slightly dejected today since something I'm working on is proceeding very slowly and then I saw this on your LJ. It helped me to be reminded of personal responsibility and paying the price. No time for self-pity.

"Take what you want and pay for it, says God."

Thanks, again.