Sometimes the collective unconscious thinks more clearly than we do

[fpb]

Has anyone noticed that, in spite of the massed ranks of propaganda for the sexual revolution and its results, vulgar language continues to use "F***" and "Screw" exclusively in a bad way? The unconscious mind that dominates vulgar language experiences "f***ing" and "screwing" exclusively as negative things, malicious exploitation without any advantage to its victims ("they screwed us") and utter ruin ("We're screwed") and damnation ("Screw them!"). Fifty years of propaganda haven't managed to convince the human unconscious that being sexually exploited is anything but an unmixed evil.

Comments

[fpb.livejournal.com]

You probably have more experience than I have, but I would imagine that if you invite any prospective partner to bed in those words you are more apt to get the print of five fingers across your face than any other kind of satisfaction; and if you are talking to a spouse or long-term partner, you may well find that you have talked your way to the attentions of a divorce lawyer. It may, I suppose, be done in a very light and jocose tone, once in a while, precisely because it is vulgar and offensive; but even as a prelude to a one-night stand, and one never meant to be anything more, it strikes me as extraordinarily graceless and infelicitous. A few compliments, a kiss, silence - anything but the suggestion that all that the other person matters for to you is a fuck. And this covers, as far as I am concerned, all kinds of partners and all kinds of sex.

[mindstalk.livejournal.com]

I imagine a difference not just of experience but of the people we know, and perhaps of the fiction we read. The things you say certainly apply to some people, but seem obviously far from universal to me. A quick check of fanfiction.net suggests that a vast number of authors agree.

If you *are* going to invite someone to have casual sex -- not necessarily one-night stand -- then "make love" is inappropriate, and "have sex", while used, is a bit clinical. And if the terms sound rough and dirty and taboo, then all to the better, for many people at many times.