On the whole, this was an ugly experience.

[fpb]

I hope Theregoes... does not take it ill, when I say that looking back, the Niffle was not worth having. All it has done is bring me back into contact with the bigotry and ugliness of a certain kind of mind and even what might be called a political movement - one that dominates FA, and with which I can never come to any terms (they would not grant them if I tried). And it has not done much good in terms of anyone actually reading the damn story. I do not know what a Niffle is supposed to be good for, but I find three reviews rather depressing - especially compared to the number of ignorant little morons who will be corresponding with each other as I write, congratulating each other on not giving me a chance. What I fail to understand is why some otherwise intelligent people imagine that there is any advantage to be got by treating these people with anything like respect.

I wish I had not been Niffled. It is not worth the aggravation and above all the disgust, at being reminded once again of these creatures. It may even have pushed me a bit further away from HP fandom.

Comments

[fpb.livejournal.com]

That was mostly exhaustion, but also disgust at finding out how far self-satisfied, politically-motivated prejudice really went. People were patting each other on the back for hating me. I got one comment - swiftly deleted, of course - from someone who had not read any of my fics except GAY BAR, which she had refused to understand; knew nothing whatever of how and what I wrote, who read my fics, and how they reacted; and still felt able to condemn me. This sort of thing really makes me sick; it is like touching slime with an unprotected hand.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

That is very unfortunate to have that happen. I do think that a lot of people aren't going to want to associate with you or your fics because of that one story (which I don't intend to read, btw: I'll stick with your other work, like that Mary Sue one, which I did actually find good and intend to review one of these days).

People get over things, and people change their outlook and stances and even grudges.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

which I don't intend to read
Thank you so much, very kind of yours. In other words, you accept the fucking lies of the scum concerned. Has it not even occurred to you that perhaps the fact that I can actually write stories places the shit you have been told in rather a dubious light? If you think that some of my work ought to be fenced off and silenced, I DO NOT want you for a friend. Period.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

I don't believe any of your work should be fenced off. I just don't choose to read it: like I choose not to read adult/minor, or Harry/Hermione, or plasticbag/Kevin Spacey. There are some subjects that don't personally interest me.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

Edit: to be petulant and spiteful, went and read 'Gay Bar' at ffn.

Maybe I'm exceptionally slow, but I can't understand the furore about it.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

Have you read the reviews? They are highly educational.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

(The one exception being one Brianna Rose.)

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

The issue being that people are always going to have their own interpretation of what is presented to them. Why are there fights about R/HR v. H/Hr? Because people read things different ways.

To be fair, you didn't present all of your characters as stereotypes, and to be perfectly honest, the reaction from Pansy and Draco was more telling of bigotry than your writing was. I can understand that the matter of homosexuality as a choice v. genetic orientation is always going to be contentious (and to be fair, I don't think that people do have a choice in their sexual orientation), but whatever the case is it remains your opinion.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

I do not think you have completely understood my rage about this story. Point one, there was no statement whatever about the matter of homosexuality as a choice v. genetic orientation, because, in so far as I believe that such a thing as homosexuality exists at all, its causes are probably of many different kinds, and if I ever wanted to write a story about this issue, I would show them all in action. But there was nothing whatsoever in the whole story that had anything to say about it. Anyone who condemned it on those grounds simply dragged a red herring across the trail.

I am glad that you noticed, at least, that Draco and Pansy act like perfect little narrow-minded bigots; one homosexual critic of my story even seemed to feel some sympathy for them, "among all those scary sexual predators". In fact, there is only one scary sexual predator, Harry, and that is because he is drunk and extremely unhappy. Everyone else is simply ordinarily and decently embarrassed by Harry's performance, and one guy gets a fist in his face for trying to remind Harry - amazing old-fashioned courtesy - that there is a lady in the house. I also made the point that the clientele of the bar is mostly middle-aged with a few solid grandfathers in; of course the gear they wear is old-fashioned. I have not had twenty-years old in the first decade of the third millennium wear Village People gear, but people who got into the scene when Village People were fashionable.

Another piece of nonsense was people taking Draco's "We could have won the war" seriously. All that means is, first, that Draco and Pansy in all their neat, moneyed, bourgeois splendour, are still hankering after the Dark Lord and bloodshed; and second, that their imagination clings to every excuse to try and conceive of ways in which the judgment of history could have gone differently. These are defeated people who still cling to their defeated and outdated ambitions. But all this is lost in the storm of hatred that clings to every excuse, every lie.

The story is simply this: the hero of the age is lonely, unhappy, and homosexual. His enemy, in spite of the defeat of his party, has got away scot free, is rich, happily married, and has children. And he still is the monster who hankers for the Dark Lord and massacres, and so does his wife. It is, in short, a story about the injustice and ingratitude of life. The very fact of homosexuality was purely incidental.

In private correspondence, Hijja unerringly put her finger on the reason for the rage. She said that the fic left the impression that no happiness in homosexual relationships was possible. In itself, that is an exaggeration, given how very small a compass of experience the fic covers; but I have no doubt that the reason for the hatred it has drawn is this - that it is not sentimental or positive about the gay lifestyle. There is nothing at the end of it to make your spirits rise; and in the view of the enemy party (of which Hijja is a moderate but unmistakeable member), you are not allowed to speak about the homosexual lifestyle except in unwaveringly positive ways.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

I have little to say to that but word.

Having read the fic, there was little doubt in my mind that this wasn't truly a gaybashing piece of work, and hearing your explanation kinda makes it seem all the more sad. That's rather unfortunate for you, and I'm sorry to hear of the reaction to this fic in that way.

I personally have little ill to say to either side of the political divide (badfic, yes, but that's barely political, I think), though it's only fair to say that the GLBT community probably has the same ratio of poxy people that the straight community has. Everyone has crapfolk.

Thankyou for taking the time to explain this to me. I just had a review today accusing me of being a drug abuser. T'was fun. I am incredibly slow to offend, however, so it's not doing me too much harm.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

You haven't been threatened with rape to make you appreciate the warmth and happiness of the gay experience.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

No. But I've undergone a similar joy which has made me appreciate that one can truly find love with a seven year old child.

Sometimes I wonder why it is that I have severe androphobia.

Understandably, that would make you wary, however.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

Oh.
In that case, my apologies and we can stop it right here and now.

[gunderpants.livejournal.com]

It's sweet, I've had plenty of time to get over it. I do think it needs to be said that your experience and the people who did what they did to you aren't representative of the GLBT community as a whole. There are going to be plenty of people, straight or gay, or even for-you or against-you in fandom who are going to condemn any kind of sexual assault.