ghastly xmas songs meme

[fpb]

Having come back from shopping with a strong feeling that Xmas muzak ought to be made a crime, I want to get a little of my own back. Hence I invite all my friends and readers to mention the worst song they can think of - one or many, as many as you like - and a description of what the sentence on the criminals who wrote and/or performed it should be. Then copy this meme and post it on your own LJ.

I'll start:
Santa baby. Its authors and everyone who is so base of soul as to perform it should be forced to wear titanium steel chastity belts for the rest of their natural lives.
Wonderful Christmas time. Sir Paul McCartney should be forbidden from ever publishing any song again until, in the opinion of a jury of 200 music lovers chosen at random, he has produced at least two songs of the quality of Hey Jude or Fool on the Hill.

Comments

[fellmama.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking of more to add as I'm forced to endure them at work. Today's nomination is Happy Christmas (War Is Over): John Lennon is so ghastly SMUG, and the lyrics don't make any damn sense. "War is over, if you want it." What?

Anyway, since he's already been punished, in the spirit of Evil Whimsey, I nominate that the management of Old Navy be forced to work in their own store next Saturday afternoon, with only one working cash register.

Incidentally (while I rather loathe the Little Drummer Boy and thus am no help there), I think many people dislike O Holy Night because it's performed so badly so often. I know my mother feels that way about it--she says a young woman at her childhood church was notorious for her wretched flute rendition.

[fpb.livejournal.com]

Actually, O Holy Night has just been voted Britain's favourite Christmas song, according to the BBC. Though they did not say who voted and what was running. But I can see that it is not really a "carol" in the sense of a simple song that an ordinary church choir can belt out; it is really a classical piece that requires a certain amount of skill from various performers. The same goes for Joy to the World.

Of course Lennon was an atheist and so had no business writing a Christmas song, but I don't think that Happy Christmas, War is Over is really so bad. What makes me foam at the mouth is Imagine - universally presented as having a message of benevolence and peace, when in fact it "imagines" a world that Stalin would not want to live in, a world without any possessions (no possessions? Not my comics collection, not my nephew's stuffed toys?), where there is nothing worth dying for (what, not even Debbie?), and so on: the most revolting invitation to Hell I have ever seen, wrapped in deceptively lullaby-like music. If that song is ever forbidden by law, it will have been too late already.