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inverarity
May. 2nd, 2010 08:45 pmWHAT ASSISTANT DEAN CERVANTES SAID TO BENJAMIN AND MORDECAI RUSH
“Well, gentlemen,” said the Assistant Dean, a little less smoothly than he had been speaking so far, “you are a couple of idiots, aren’t you?”
“Mr. Assistant Dean –“ Mordecai tried to answer.
“Quiet!! You are here to listen, not to speak.”
There was a silence, and then the Assistant Dean spoke again.
“Let me explain all the ways in which attacking Alexandra Octavia Thorn can be trouble.” The boys almost jumped at the name, and Assistant Dean Cervantes chuckled grimly. “Yes, it’s an impressive name, isn’t it? A name you wouldn’t want to mess with. You would do well to think of that name – you who think of blood so much. Think whose blood she is. Didn’t it occur to you two that a daughter of Abraham Thorn, whoever her mother might be, would risk being a very powerful witch indeed?” The two boys seemed about to speak, but Assistant Dean Cervantes forestalled them. “I know I said different when she was here. That is because she needs to be taken down a peg or two. But that has nothing to do with you. You seriously thought you were dealing with some “mugglebawn orphan chile’, as I believe the saying is? Are you so dumb that you actually allowed that silly fake name, Quick, to mislead you?” There was a pause. “Because if you are, you have just confirmed all the stereotypes about Ozarkers.”
The two boys were visibly seething, but did not seem willing to speak up. Assistant Dean Cervantes went on.
“That is point one. You mess with the daughter of one of the most powerful dark wizards in history, without thought of who it really is you are messing with. Point two. Her father. Did it occur to you that if you seriously hurt Abraham Thorn’s daughter, you would come to his attention? Tell me, lads, what do they say about Thorn in the Ozarks?”
The boys did not immediately answer; they were rather confused. Assistant Dean Cervantes rapped on his desk with the signet seal of his ring. “I asked you a question,” he said drily.
“Well, Mr.Assistant Dean suh, they do say as he be mighty powerful.”
“And as he has devoted friends.”
“Yes? Go on.”
“And they do say that if you see him comin’..”
“…see him comin’, suh, you’d better step aside, cause he gets riled real easy and you don’t want to be the one as gets him riled.”
“Good, good. Clearly Ozarkers are up to date folks,” said Assistant Dean Cervantes with an insolence that set both boys’ teeth on edge. “And about his daughters?”
“Well, suh, we’uns was told stories when we was chillun, of what Abraham Thorn did to folks as disrespected… or assaulted… one of his daughters.”
“Very good. So we cannot blame your parents; they clearly told you. You just disregarded their warnings.”
“Suh, we’uns wasn’t thinkin’…”
“Yes, yes, we’ve been through that. You did not bother to remember that the little Muggleborn – let’s call her that – the little Muggleborn girl called Quick was actually a Thorn. So you were dumb, though your parents are not.”
Assistant Dean Cervantes looked down at his desktop and joined the tips of his fingers together. For a second there was complete silence, and when he raised his eyes again, his expression and his tone of voice had changed.
“But there is another reason you should have thought of, perhaps. Another reason not to touch the daughter of Abraham Thorn.
“Let me put it this way. The Government goes out of its way to find this obscure Muggleborn girl and get her, not to just any school, but to Charmbridge. Here she manages to raise merry Hell and is twice involved in mysterious deaths; but however much trouble she manages to get in, she leads a charmed life – she is never expelled or even suspended. You may not realize this, but anyone else who had gone through half the stuff she did would have been not only on her way home, but quite probably to a Young Witches’ Correctional Institute. So ask yourselves: why was she not?
“I am not going to to tell you the truth, boys. I am going to downright lie to you, and you had better not believe a word I say from now on. But let us suppose. Suppose for a moment that our Government were not the law-abiding and benevolent entity that we all know it to be. Suppose, in fact, that it was a nest of paranoiacs always on the look-out for enemies to destroy.
“If that were the case, boys – and I am here to tell you right here and now that it is not and that what you are hearing is not the truth – if you knew that our Government wants nothing more dearly than to destroy its enemies, and that the greatest of all its enemies is Abraham Thorn…
“…if you knew that, and if you knew that Abraham Thorn’s youngest daughter is not only at Charmbridge but is apparently leading a charmed life, protected from suspension and from expulsion, on a government scholarship – a government scholarship, mind you – what would you conclude?
“I’ll tell you what I would conclude. I would conclude that the Government has its own plans for Miss Alexandra Octavia Thorn, and that I would do better not to stand in their way.
“Let me add one thing. If the government were in fact the nest of paranoiacs that it is most certainly not, it would be a very good idea to try to think as it thinks. And let us suppose that the government wanted Alexandra Octavia Thorn at Charmbridge for its own reasons. Well, a nest of paranoiacs might well pay attention to the fact that no less than four Ozarkers are at Charmbridge for the very first time in history. That, immediately, would strike them as curious. Then they would notice that all these Ozarkers seem to show a peculiar interest in Alexandra Octavia Thorn. Then they would get a report that you have tried to kill or injure her. Tell me, boys – what could possibly save the Ozarks, and especially your families, from a massive Special Inquisition?”
Mordecai Rash had gone as pale as old parchment; his twin was shuddering out of control, and both were sweating. “I see we understand each other,” said Assistant Dean Cervantes. “You may leave, boys. Don’t worry about an old man’s dumb fantasies – as I said, nothing of what I said is true.” And he grinned.
END OF THE STORY
“Well, gentlemen,” said the Assistant Dean, a little less smoothly than he had been speaking so far, “you are a couple of idiots, aren’t you?”
“Mr. Assistant Dean –“ Mordecai tried to answer.
“Quiet!! You are here to listen, not to speak.”
There was a silence, and then the Assistant Dean spoke again.
“Let me explain all the ways in which attacking Alexandra Octavia Thorn can be trouble.” The boys almost jumped at the name, and Assistant Dean Cervantes chuckled grimly. “Yes, it’s an impressive name, isn’t it? A name you wouldn’t want to mess with. You would do well to think of that name – you who think of blood so much. Think whose blood she is. Didn’t it occur to you two that a daughter of Abraham Thorn, whoever her mother might be, would risk being a very powerful witch indeed?” The two boys seemed about to speak, but Assistant Dean Cervantes forestalled them. “I know I said different when she was here. That is because she needs to be taken down a peg or two. But that has nothing to do with you. You seriously thought you were dealing with some “mugglebawn orphan chile’, as I believe the saying is? Are you so dumb that you actually allowed that silly fake name, Quick, to mislead you?” There was a pause. “Because if you are, you have just confirmed all the stereotypes about Ozarkers.”
The two boys were visibly seething, but did not seem willing to speak up. Assistant Dean Cervantes went on.
“That is point one. You mess with the daughter of one of the most powerful dark wizards in history, without thought of who it really is you are messing with. Point two. Her father. Did it occur to you that if you seriously hurt Abraham Thorn’s daughter, you would come to his attention? Tell me, lads, what do they say about Thorn in the Ozarks?”
The boys did not immediately answer; they were rather confused. Assistant Dean Cervantes rapped on his desk with the signet seal of his ring. “I asked you a question,” he said drily.
“Well, Mr.Assistant Dean suh, they do say as he be mighty powerful.”
“And as he has devoted friends.”
“Yes? Go on.”
“And they do say that if you see him comin’..”
“…see him comin’, suh, you’d better step aside, cause he gets riled real easy and you don’t want to be the one as gets him riled.”
“Good, good. Clearly Ozarkers are up to date folks,” said Assistant Dean Cervantes with an insolence that set both boys’ teeth on edge. “And about his daughters?”
“Well, suh, we’uns was told stories when we was chillun, of what Abraham Thorn did to folks as disrespected… or assaulted… one of his daughters.”
“Very good. So we cannot blame your parents; they clearly told you. You just disregarded their warnings.”
“Suh, we’uns wasn’t thinkin’…”
“Yes, yes, we’ve been through that. You did not bother to remember that the little Muggleborn – let’s call her that – the little Muggleborn girl called Quick was actually a Thorn. So you were dumb, though your parents are not.”
Assistant Dean Cervantes looked down at his desktop and joined the tips of his fingers together. For a second there was complete silence, and when he raised his eyes again, his expression and his tone of voice had changed.
“But there is another reason you should have thought of, perhaps. Another reason not to touch the daughter of Abraham Thorn.
“Let me put it this way. The Government goes out of its way to find this obscure Muggleborn girl and get her, not to just any school, but to Charmbridge. Here she manages to raise merry Hell and is twice involved in mysterious deaths; but however much trouble she manages to get in, she leads a charmed life – she is never expelled or even suspended. You may not realize this, but anyone else who had gone through half the stuff she did would have been not only on her way home, but quite probably to a Young Witches’ Correctional Institute. So ask yourselves: why was she not?
“I am not going to to tell you the truth, boys. I am going to downright lie to you, and you had better not believe a word I say from now on. But let us suppose. Suppose for a moment that our Government were not the law-abiding and benevolent entity that we all know it to be. Suppose, in fact, that it was a nest of paranoiacs always on the look-out for enemies to destroy.
“If that were the case, boys – and I am here to tell you right here and now that it is not and that what you are hearing is not the truth – if you knew that our Government wants nothing more dearly than to destroy its enemies, and that the greatest of all its enemies is Abraham Thorn…
“…if you knew that, and if you knew that Abraham Thorn’s youngest daughter is not only at Charmbridge but is apparently leading a charmed life, protected from suspension and from expulsion, on a government scholarship – a government scholarship, mind you – what would you conclude?
“I’ll tell you what I would conclude. I would conclude that the Government has its own plans for Miss Alexandra Octavia Thorn, and that I would do better not to stand in their way.
“Let me add one thing. If the government were in fact the nest of paranoiacs that it is most certainly not, it would be a very good idea to try to think as it thinks. And let us suppose that the government wanted Alexandra Octavia Thorn at Charmbridge for its own reasons. Well, a nest of paranoiacs might well pay attention to the fact that no less than four Ozarkers are at Charmbridge for the very first time in history. That, immediately, would strike them as curious. Then they would notice that all these Ozarkers seem to show a peculiar interest in Alexandra Octavia Thorn. Then they would get a report that you have tried to kill or injure her. Tell me, boys – what could possibly save the Ozarks, and especially your families, from a massive Special Inquisition?”
Mordecai Rash had gone as pale as old parchment; his twin was shuddering out of control, and both were sweating. “I see we understand each other,” said Assistant Dean Cervantes. “You may leave, boys. Don’t worry about an old man’s dumb fantasies – as I said, nothing of what I said is true.” And he grinned.
END OF THE STORY
